February 2012
15 posts
3 tags
I never had the fortitude To rip the seams, Discard the stitching. Expose myself, become Impudent. I never had the courage To be weak, To shake and wail, Imbue the kitchen floor With stale grief. Until you.
“There are two kinds of people in this world: those who stand up and face the...”
– The Scent of a Woman
Pity, take pity on me, Cause I’m not half...
3 tags
When my age was still a single digit, and the occasional quiet, winter night was polluted by my coughs and sneezes and sniffles, she would pull me onto her lap, and we’d sit. We’d wait beside the shower, pouring scalding water, and breathe in deeply the steam that soon filled the room and fogged the mirror. Now, I’m pointed tiredly to the medicine cabinet; where I learned to...
4 tags
tuesdays.
Bad company is ivory keys- Loud, cacophonous, Whose sweet melodies Gild the desolation in Knowing that the tune reaches Only the ears of the one that created them. The same one that Will forge company by Speaking aloud The words of Extrinsic authors. Good company is sweet prose- That knows exactly the time That is appropriate to say Thank you, but I best be going. And so it goes, and expects No...
“They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first, and then to others....”
– Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability
2 tags
'Sorry mom, sorry God.'
6 tags
There was a closet stuffed with his past that took mostly his smell but had a few that were foreign to me. He would occasionally pull something out and introduce me to a part of him I did not know. But when I questioned the books of memories that were on the shelf that was too tall for me to reach, she told me no, those weren’t for my eyes. I remembered his lighthearted remarks of shared lockers...
3 tags
Closed lights And open windows And clothes unsuited for the weather. Sad songs Played too loud- The harsh volume Turning sweetness To desperate misery. The night isn’t dismal, Just lonely. Somehow, I’ve allowed the two To become synonymous.
“My parents searched my backpack for drugs, and
they found a love letter.”
– (via ohheyitssmita)
4 tags
I was swimming in his clothes as I made my way idly down the familiar hallway.
“Hey, I’ve never seen that shirt before”. “Yeah, they gave it to me at work today”. He proceeded to unfold the navy mass and hold it up to me. “I like that, can I have it?”. I giggled as he tilted his head and glared at me. He sighed, as he held it forward, “You always...
5 tags
Strike once, twice A frustrated third time, Exhale relief at the sound of ignition. And the yellow illuminates Outdated photos Of days that you don’t remember But focus drifts To the blue that is quick approaching Your already blackened fingertips. But you’ll allow the heat to sit A few moments too many Upon your scorching skin, Just long enough to mutter I’m so sorry Before...
January 2012
23 posts
5 tags
The undulating sky Mirrors the slept in sheets We just so recently left, And the bumps on the asphalt Resemble the terrain of your skin. But the streets reek of onions, And you smelt of oxygen. And my feet are moving And I’m chasing down relief And I know this isn’t my race But I’m afraid simply loving you Isn’t enough.
Anonymous asked: i've been in a sort of dark period lately, and i guess this is a little dumb to ask, but i was wondering if you thought i would still be able to love and be loved. i'm so scared that i won't be able to love any longer.
sheddingpetals:
Please sleep beside me. It’s the only way to dream well, Your warm skin my guard.
6 tags
It’s as if you dwell, Ears submerged in the water. Aware that there around sounds- Foreign and foggy, Beyond where you are, But ultimately deaf. Attentive only to The rhythmic noise Of your own existence. I beg of you to surface, Maybe then, your ignorance Would wash away.
I’m not looking for another as I wander in...
5 tags
Fences
Classic white planks of wood, serving as a border with no real purpose, begging young hands to grasp it and curious, adventurous eyes to peek through.
Or rusted metal X’s with holes and dents and a frame that wobbles when lost, adolescent feet hastily crash into it- stealing a moment of support on their long run from stability.
Or stinging, shocking wire, thought to frighten and threaten those...
5 tags
My insides tore open, Set fire, Lived and breathed, Burned for a while. But it soon began to mend, Because, I suppose, All wounds, Even the most marvelous, Heal.
4 tags
I thought Run away. So, I thought Open roads Hidden in the darkness. And I thought Warm rain Quiet music. And I thought Your fingers Dancing on the dashboard. So, I thought, Love, Let us go.
Does it feel that your life’s become a...
5 tags
You speak to me, In poetry. Mellifluous words Of appetence and yearning. I respond to you With clusters of Cold clumsiness. Nugatory repetition That suggests Indifference. What leaves my mouth Doesn’t grace your ears As it should. And so I’ll press your ear To my chest And hope that you’ll hear Something sweeter Than my tongue Could ever fabricate.
5 tags
The last leg of the winter winds stung my hands, and I saw hers begin to shake but I don’t think that was from the cold. They were damp and trembling as they gripped her stomach in a desperate attempt to both settle what was brewing but also perhaps to keep herself from physically falling apart. I opened my mouth to offer words of comfort and succor but all that was there was the biting air....
5 tags
Eyes fixated on the water Falling beyond the open window, My hands sought for something, Someone,To hold, And returned unsatisfied. I discerned how easy it would it be To darken the room Slide beneath the covers, Make myself unknown. “Insignificant” attained a new meaning, And thus I found comfort in the solitude.
Some days don't matter.
“Sadness be gone, let’s be people who deserve to be loved, who are worthy, cause...”
– happythankyoumoreplease
The familiarity of the situation astounded me. How effortlessly we slipped back into old routine. I bit my tongue at every old joke, struggling to keep the words behind my lips- I miss you. And while this may be the truth, I need to keep walking forward. But I feel your presence on my back- I’ll never truly be rid of you. I don’t think I’d want that, anyway.
“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their...”
– Invisible Monsters Chuck Palahniuk
If you were here, There would be more tears- But much, much less pain.
6 tags
I trek the desolate streets, Feet in the gutter, Head towards the sky. The moon laughs, As I take the long way ‘Home’. I beg and plead, Don’t leave me alone, Not tonight. All in vain. Reluctant, I find my way Back to bed. I’ll leave your spot open, In case you choose To come through my window. I know you won’t. So I’ll search for a match, Watch the ashes Fall to...
5 tags
The pain used to own me. It would wash over me in the night, swallow me and pull me down. Pinned down beneath it’s weight, all I needed was a hand to pull me up. There wasn’t one to be lent. And so I stayed, engulfed in the darkness. Pages on the calendar flipped and something was building inside of me, and I could finally stand on my own. The faux strength went to my head. I stood...
December 2011
29 posts
I won’t say that I miss you, but I think of you.
More often, now. I hope you’re okay. We left so many things unsaid. I hope you’re okay. I hope you still dream the way you used to, strive the way you used to. I hope you’re okay. I hope you joke the way you used to, I hope you love the way you used to. I hope you’re okay. I hope you see the world in the same beautiful...
Somehow,
The cold always seems
To find its way back in.
Oh how easy it is
To feel nothing at all.
4 tags
I can feel you slipping away.
I can wake and rise with ease, I can walk your house and I can touch your things and it doesn’t hurt, not like it used to. I sit in the darkness of your room and I listen to those songs and the tears are reluctant. I can smile and hear your name and tell your stories without my heart ripping as it used to. I often lay awake at night and realize that I’ve...
3 tags
Fingers roaming my back, A touch so light it’s barely there, But I swear, I’ve never felt so much. Warm breath on my neck, Before you lips secretly push into my skin. I wonder if you can feel my heart Racing. Racing.
5 tags
Gnostic
sleep-sweet:
Your hands bore into my heart, Twisting and grabbing As if to reach for something Wretched and small That may not even exist at all.
“With you I’m useless with words. As if somehow I had to learn to speak all over...”
– Sandra Cisneros (via thechocolatebrigade)
2 tags
Peel back your skin, invite me in. Am I just like...
There’s a sort of selfishness that accompanies friendship, love. The sense of need. The longing for their constant presence to quiet your mind and ease your pain. The desire to be held and shushed with a warm hand on the back of your neck, your forehead in their chest and your nose in the scent that fills your sheets. The comfort held in your tears being absorbed by another’s shirt.
But this...
The light, intermittent drops in the darkness; that’s the saddest kind of rain I know.
Without the passion or vigor that the storms claim and without the careless “oh well” that the sun shower whispers.
Just a bit here and there, nagging. A disheartening weight resting in the bottom of your stomach, reminding you not to get too comfortable.
Melancholy loneliness… I wish you were here.
3 tags
Listen